Beer Lunch.

I didn't know the meaning of it when my friend suggested it to me just now right after our breakfast. It was drizzling abit then and fresh from eating fried fish bee hoon and we didn't have anywhere to go. But he was bored our of his wits and I was too so we decided to take a drive around before deciding on beer lunch.

I'd say drinking beer in the afternoon is quite fun and you don't really need much amount of it to get tipsy. But I think it was the company that really made it fun. Jon was such a joker and knowledgeable person. Not to mention smart too. We were just sitting down chilling and talking about our lives for the past few years and what happened to relationships between lovers, friends, relatives and family. I got to know alot more about his life and our friends in common. We definitely laughed our heads off at the silliest things and talked on top of our lungs regardless what kind of stares people gave us.

We were reminiscing about our schooling days and what we went through during college days. Drunken late nights, hangover after mornings, stressful exam days and travelling back and forth to our home town. Then we talked about work and what does the whole oil and gas industry and engineering is all about. Hanging out with him reminds me of my college days and that we used to hang out at gigs and concerts.

I'd be sure to sit down with him or our friends and chat about our lives again as we grow old. With beer in hand that is! :)

[daily disco dose]
Adele - Right As Rain

My Fate With A Stick.

Just two days ago I was bored out of my wits and started to feel like the whole damn world owes me. So I decided to get out of the house. The moment I stepped out of the house, anything and everything got into my way. A car suddenly cuts into my lane without signaling. A motorbike was riding slowly in the middle of the road. I get red lights all the way through my journey. Things like that.

Right after lunch as I was going to bank-in some cheques, I've decided to stop by the Goddess of Mercy (Kuan Yin) temple for some much needed prayer for strength, focus and inner peace. I proceeded to burn the joss sticks, light the candle sticks and say my prayers. Just before I do the last rite of burning the bundle of joss paper, I've decided to give the 100 sticks of fate a try. It is quite a common sight at this temple that you hear the wooden sticks knocking against the brass holder and for me this is the third time that I've tried this, out of which one was denied. You can imagine how pathetic I was. 

Before you get to ask Goddess of Mercy (Kuan Yin) for any answers to your calamities or troubles, you need to ask permission first using the Buddha's lips. I proceeded to tell Goddess of Mercy my problems and I was probably a quarter through my story and I've already gotten myself an answer in the form of a stick. Again, you need to get confirmation by throwing the Buddha's lips on the floor. Once confirmed, I showed the stick to the uncle behind the wooden counter and he gave me a piece of paper with Chinese characters that has ancient meanings and supposedly my answer to my question. 

So, you'd be wondering the answer and the answer to my trouble is, I need to make do with what I have now and stick with it. Things will be better after this Chinese new year and good opportunities will come my way then. But it did not answer my question of "which", which is quite disappointing and I have absolutely no idea on how things will turn around for the better.

Well I guess whether I got my complete answer or not, I know one thing's for sure. The trip to the temple made me calmer, like it always does. I think inner peace and balance are what I need. Just like Master Shifu in the movie - Kung Fu Panda. 

[daily disco dose]

Jamiroquai - White Knuckle Ride

Pauper.

Assessing my own situation right now, it made me realize what a sore loser I am. I don't literally mean that I am an all round loser but I'm just disappointed at myself for making poor judgments when it comes to career and money matters. I should have been wiser and knew what was coming. 

I am now a qiong kuang dan. I am jobless and I guess now you know why I am so keen on blogging again with all the time that I have in my hands. I am in a total state of wretched misfortune. So what's new?

Back then, my old blog was all about acceptance. Acceptance by your parents, acceptance by your peers and acceptance to your desired university/college. Late night chit chat, hanging out at the mall, watching movies and partying with your friends. Then, there came the rebellion days. Disdain towards certain people. Rebelliousness towards your parents who are always in control of your life, rebel to let your voice to be heard, peer pressure that makes you rebel from the norm or rebel from the weird to be normal. Either way. 

Now, as I grow older and with a few years of working experience under my belt, I set out to the world of uncertainties. After years of experience in the banking line, I thought I wanted to do something different. Don't think an employer would want to hire someone at the age of 30 who is still trying new industry right? It's now or never, I keep telling myself. Therefore, I threw myself out there, into the wild and roamed the wilderness. 

I finally got myself a job. A new industry, open minded boss(es) and quite a good job prospect. I didn't really have to sell myself to get the job during the interview and after just 2 days I had to report to work. At first, it all seemed well, until the contract issue came up. I read the contract and was reluctant as hell to sign it. This sparked discussions between my boss and I. But on my part, I reflected on myself, my career, the job itself and my future. One thing led to another and my employment with the said company had to end overnight due to my unconfirmed employment status. The next day I'm jobless.

I'm not sure whether I did the right thing or not but I know I wanted the whole prospect and the whole package to work for me. I wanted a good job, a good pay, a good boss and a good career path. I wanted the uncertainties to work for me so bad that I felt like I was at the bottom of the pile and dark clouds gathered above my head and rained.

I guess I am back to ground zero. Just like a few years back before I got my first job. I hate myself for not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, not knowing what to choose for a career and for not being able to judge something without failing terribly. Luck is definitely not on my side.

Confidence. Where are you when I needed you most?

[daily disco dose]

Oasis - Stand By Me

New Beginnings.

Well, this is it.

I'm starting anew after a few years of hiatus and I'm finally back in the blog-sphere where it used to be very fun to read and write, uncluttered, unpolitical and elite. I just had to add in "elite" simply because I am a snob. So sue me. A snob that feels that blogs nowadays are no fun to read at all. The consistent boring pattern of bloggers posing with a piece of cupcake, posing with a celebrity, self capture portrait of excessive posing, and writings of nothings. Don't get me wrong, I do the occasional posing-posing gesture but I do not plaster the entire blog or facebook with edited or touched up pictures. I call it blinged up pictures by the way. Blogs nowadays are like a parade of Hollywood train wrecks.

Not to mention that blogs genuinely provide me an outlet to get my thoughts out of my chest, a lot of blogs nowadays serve as a medium for political outcry that sparks controversy that hit out local news networks like a swarm of bees. It's a great expansion for the digital media and online community to get first hand information but I think that why can't they just keep blogs simple and unpretentious?

Oh by the way, those "bloggers" call themselves bloggers because of .. what? They went to the hippest place in town, partied with other feme bloggers, mingled with other "bloggers", put on make up, smoke cigarettes, drank alcohol and updated on their blogs that they did all that? Come on. Is there any content at all in your blog entries? Let me introduce you to empty shells, that's what it's called.

All in all, I just wanna say: "Hello! I am back... with a bang!" I hope.

This time with a different approach. I now see myself looking at the people surrounding me and the environment in a more mature way. I hope you don't have to put up with my occasional depression outbursts more than brushing your teeth every night before going to bed. But if you do, I guess you're better off brushing your teeth than reading my blog entries. Honestly :) At least you get clean, brighter teeth.

[daily disco dose]
Bruno Mars - Somewhere In Brooklyn