The One That Got Away.

The one that got away...

As I was walking out of the room, I was really taken aback and I didn’t know what to say to make it all better. Part of me was thinking that I should have been better prepared but then another part of me was not sorry because I did read up and I didn’t want my answers to be so well prepared and cliché. I guess I was out of their league. It’s not because you are not good but I think you are not suitable for this position. Another one that is not align with my career goals.

Thinking about it now makes me realize that at least they are not wasting my time and they are straight to the point. I'm gladly relieved. 

I was kind of surprised that it didn't last as long as I've expected it to be and also weirded out because normally I would be able to wow them with my magically fabulous personality. I know I didn't do my magic good enough and I didn't shine this time. I was feeling spaced out but when I was home and after a few smses from Perth, I broke down in tears and felt the aftershock. I'm a wussy. Not his fault really, I was just emotionally imbalanced.

I still can't strike a balance. Sigh. After all that emotional fiasco I just want to curl up in my bed, read a book, listen to some music and sleep.

[daily disco dose]
Example - Last One Standing

Resolutions.

Okay, so this is it. My attempt at making somewhat of a resolution to start the new year with. I'm not a big fan of resolutions to start with simply because I think they just get your hopes and expectations to nowhere and fall flat on your face if they are not achieved.

Besides, I think the life experiences that I went through the last few years made me a (little) pessimist to even hope and dream of something that we may not achieved at the end of the year. I have turned out to be the type of person who just takes in whatever comes my way and if it is something that is unexpected then I know I would truly be happy deep down inside. But if I had a set of expectations and they are not being met, I know for sure that I would be fairly disappointed.

Some people would that I am not much of a dreamer and have no imagination. Some people might say that success comes from dreaming and dreaming it big. But I don't know.. as you aged you tend to think too much or dream too much of something and not to mention that you want it so badly that you can come off as "desperate" and who would want that right?

Besides, as you grow older you know that time no longer is by your side and it is always ticking, no matter what. It will not slow down because you fell sick or not mentally prepared for it. By the time you realize that the people around you are already getting married and some already have their own offspring.. it is a little unnerving. You no longer have time to play trial and error. You no longer have the courage or the vibrant energy in you to thrive on. Perhaps it was because of past experiences or the peer pressure that made you feel shy and uncomfortable to even begin with.

Anyhoo, just to keep the tradition going.... Below are my resolutions or my hopes rather.

• To get a job that I am happy working for. Which means great job prospects, good pay, nice boss(PLEASE! it's about time) and colleagues, hopefully no crazy working hours like my previous one.
• Save! Save! Save! so that I can do the below...
• Buy a voice recorder, Canon SLR and an iPod.
• Revisit Singapore to relive and replay my love for Singapore.
• To travel to Bangkok and shop like a mad woman.
• To embrace more music both locally and internationally. Attend big ass concerts and experience LIVE performance from international bands/DJs.
• To travel to Melbourne and to embrace their culture and pace of life.
• To buy a Balenciaga motorcycle bag. Maybe not this year but next year perhaps?
• To embrace our local culture and immerse myself in art scene and our heritage sites.
• To love more. Please God, bless me with a wonderful man in my life as I have tons of love to share.
• To be more patient and forgive those that stood in my way. To be more care-free. 
• To believe that I am worthy of something good, to believe in the good of people and their kindness.
• To write more.
• And cook more. 

So there you have it. My current hopes in point form. We'll see how this works out in another 359 days yeah?

[daily disco dose]
Lykke Li - Tonight (live)

2010 In Retrospect.

My uber cute niece.

There are 365 days in a year and without a doubt, good and bad things are bound to happen. I can safely say that both the good and the bad contributed to my mixed feelings about the year 2010. Call me a pessimist but I think more negative things happened to me more than pleasant one but I won't say that I was unhappy all year round.

 So let's start with my bullet train of thoughts...

Freedom never tastes so sweet when I quit my grueling-in-the-middle-of-nowhere job. My ex boss accused me of many things that I didn't do. One of which she said I influenced my colleagues to resign as well. Whole lot of bullocks I'd say. Like I always say.. thanks for giving me hell so that I know how heaven is. Biatch! *shows off international sign*

Heaven was great while it lasted but then I got too cozy. When you have a lil bit too much of something you tend to get bored and things start to turn stale. All hell break loose, arguments, disagreements and discomfort. Had the worst arguments ever. I almost wanted to kill myself and fell really sick right after.

I have to deal with death when my precious darling dog Curly was hit by a car and died. My best furry cheery friend of two years gone just the night before her 2nd birthday. I'm not sure whether I can rear another dog again. She bit me while I was trying to carry her to the side of the road (naturally) and I had to take a day of medical leave to rest at home, but all I did was cry the whole day. The scars are still there but much better now. I still miss her and hope that she is in a far better place in heaven now, aimlessly running, wagging her tail, barking at by passers, panting and grasping for air and happily playing ball.

 Only right to post up a nice pic of her.

My injured swollen right hand, developed kiloids but am well on my way to recovery.

Career wise, I didn't move anywhere but I got some bad and weird experiences in dealing with jobs, bosses and interviews. So I am definitely sure that I gained experience and is sure not to have the same kind of experience again. Although I must say that I am wiser now (I think) and it changed my career goals and I know how and when to spot a job that is not align with them.

On the flip side, I exercised more this year and I hope I will keep up the momentum in the year 2011. My brother got married and my house was filled with joyous people on such auspicious occasion. Then my niece came along.. Yes, there she is on top of the post right there. Ain't she adorable?

I got back to writing a blog and writing for our local music blog zine in the name of music. Just like what I've always wanted to do. I started tweeting, which is fun and partied harder than 2009 as I drank more pints of Guinness stout and beer compared to the year before. I got more involved and listened to more of trance music and loving every moment of it. Funny how I started listening to 90's alternative rock and now listening to Armin Van Buuren. While we're still on the subject, I attended Ronski Speed live in Penang which is one of my most memorable music experience EVER in a looooong time.

Ronski Speed on the decks. Sonic orgasm.

Can't say that I'll miss you but I am definitely looking forward to what 2011 have in store for me. I shall now leave you with this song that will propel and adjust my mindset to a better and a wonderful year ahead of me!

[daily disco dose]
Snow Patrol - Give Me Strength