Love and Anger.

I'm angry.
Angry because you won't let me speak my mind.
Angry because you won't listen to me.
Angry because I am deeply wounded.
Angry because I am hurting.. for years now.

It seems like things are falling apart and nobody cares. Really.. nobody cares at all. Can't you see that things are haywired? Don't you want to change it to the better?

I have all this pend up hurt inside that turns into anger. I just want to make things better for everybody. I'm the youngest but I am carrying the most weight. What happened to the elders?

It hurts. It hurts so much that sometimes I just want to give up.. pack up and go. But then my conscious mind tells me that it's not my values. Struggle beckons. I am trapped within myself.. with my own thoughts I fight my own enemy.

My newly recharged self is wounded and has been scratched silly. I wanna stay positive and happy for myself. I need to be to keep myself sane. It's ridiculous to know that just 2 days before this that I spoke to the therapist and now I am back to square one.

Love left me.

[daily disco dose]
Beyoncé - I Was Here

I wanna drown my sorrows and anger in food. Stuff my face and be fat. Wait. I am already fat. So kill me now.

Curly.

I would like to pay tribute my cute, funny and furry friend - Curly who tragically died one year ago. I would like to dedicate this entry to her because she has been nothing but a joy to have as a pet. I do miss you very much.

She would wait for me to come back and greet me by wagging her tail and jumping with joy. She was a furball of happiness and she never ceases to brightens up my day. I remember that she would bark at the "sampah" truck every morning like it is her enemy. And because she wasn't very tall, she would climb on to the fence and stand on her two feet to see the passers by or even the cars. Curious to know what is happening outside.

Sadly, being curious and wanting to greet her owner were the reasons why she passed away..

She likes to play with water, dry leaves, flies, basketball and her own furry and curly tail. I remember that I like to play chase with her. I would chase her and she would run.. LOL. Sometimes in circles and she likes it. She would go near to the drain to see the water flow down and would be terrified if I poked her from behind. She likes to play with a basketball and she would make funny noises because she thought that the ball was playing tricks on her. I would ask her to sit next to me while I pat her on the head or even a nice body/tummy rub. I would even talk to her during my days of depression and sadness. She may not know it but it soothes me sometimes.

You were an obedient and amazing dog. You will be dearly missed. Be happy and well in heaven dear friend. I will always be thinking of you.

Clueless.

I really didn't have the heart to tell her. She's just so clueless and yet she is there to serve me. She didn't have any idea when it comes to her own products.. much less make up. I wonder how the hell she ended up at the counter and be the promoter.

I know how to read la but when I asked you why is it called 2000 calorie mascara you can't even tell me why but you read me the description of the product instead? Sigh. So clueless. You don't even know the purpose of bronzing powder. Gosh. I need to tell you instead?

Bloody hell. This will be the first and the last time that I will purchase from you. #badcustomerservice

[daily disco dose]
Amy Winehouse - Valerie